Way back in the summer of 2012, I was at death’s door clinging to dear life by the skin of my yellow cigarette-tar-stained teeth. In the blink of an eye, I had morphed from a 110-kilo fat bastard to a 55-kilo skeleton. You can stick the Atkins, keto, and all the other weight-loss diets up your Oliver Hardy (lardy) bottle and glass (arse) because nowt beats the terminal cancer diet.
Medical science predicted that I’d be Hovis (brown bread = dead) within a few months. I really was in the Brad Pitt (shit)
Ok, that is enough cockney rhyming slang for today. I recall the time after my second spell in an isolation ward in the local hospital I was sent home to die. A district nurse would visit me daily, giving me huge injections in my stomach and handfuls of pills. I never felt the needles going in because of the agony of the cancer. At one point I realised that I was very close to death.
Journey to the Centre of the Mind
“I hope you are ready to die because I am here to collect your soul,” announced, the emotionless black-hooded skull.
He emitted a chilling air of apathy. It was just another tiresome day in the life of Death.
I peered into the Grim Reapers’ lifeless empty eye sockets and thought, “Am I really dying?”
I didn’t cower and I didn’t fear the Reaper either, instead, I welcomed him. Dying was part and parcel of life. As natural as birth. I softly smiled accepting that my fleeting experience as a mortal being was coming to an end.I felt all tingly and floaty and a touch excited too as I mused the mystery of death. It was what I would call an airport departure lounge sensation. You know, that dreamy atmospheric buzz of knowing that tomorrow you will be on the other side of the planet in a new unfamiliar land.
Anyway, I am sure you get the idea, so, let’s get back to death and my upcoming “Once in a Lifetime” journey. And as you know this is a journey that you will have to undertake too: no passport or visa necessary. It just seems that I am about to depart before you but never forget that one day it will be your turn to meet the shadowy scythe-carrying angel of death so make the most of your life while you can because he usually shows his bony face when least expected.
Well, after that doom and gloom bit of scribble, you will be pleased to hear that I wasn’t shitting myself and surprised to learn that I was looking forward to my upcoming adventure in an “Always Look on the Bright Side of Death” kind of way. As you know, I am an intrepid kind of a fella and I love adventures so, maybe this little trip to the hereafter will be the most amazing experience of my life; I mean death.
I stood still in the cold room and contemplated the meaning of death and what would happen next.? Would I be climbing the “Stairway to Heaven” or speeding down the “Highway to Hell?” What about reincarnation? Would I be born again as a human, a god, a demon, or an animal?
Maybe, a foggy boat ride across the River Styx to the underworld? The thought of dwelling with Odin in Valhalla appealed. Would I be a ghost, or would I sleep forever? I had better shake a leg and get my shit together because it was time for another adventure and who’s to say it would be my last? I looked once more at the dark angel before gently closing my eyes.
I instantly discovered that the reports that one’s life flashes before one’s eyes at the point of death were true. Time no longer existed. One second could last a century. If you have ever undertaken a psychedelic trip you will know the feeling. And another observation was that my life wasn’t relived in chronological order. It didn’t begin as a crying baby and didn’t end at this final moment. I was just hit with an assortment of emotional scenes from different periods of my life.
The strangest thing of all was that I could also feel the emotions and read the thoughts of all the other people in these flashbacks. I could feel the love, and the warmth, and read the sincerity in people’s minds. Equally, I could feel the hate, the anger the jealousy and read their lies as they smiled in my face while stabbing me in the back.
I very quickly understood the power of my words and actions. Sometimes creating happiness and hope and at other times causing such pain and misery. Tears filled my eyes because I had never realised how an offhand remark, I had made had cut a troubled lonely being so deeply. I wanted to go back and love, hug, and comfort every single being I had hurt and let them know how beautiful and special they were. The tears ran down my cheeks and exploded by my feet because I knew there was no return to make amends.
However, dear reader you are still in the land of the living so grab some wisdom from one who has lived and died. From now on go out and spread loving kindness wherever you may go. To all living beings both human and animal because one day it will be your turn to view things through another’s eyes.
And believe me what a painfully eye-opening experience that is going to be for you.
Well, as you already know, I dug my heels in and told the Grim Reaper where to go because that wasn’t my time to go and meet my maker. although, I am always aware that my dark shadowy stalker is always hanging around in the background so I try to make the most of each precious day